Still, I really didn't do any direct fanart because the music does not inspire me to do pictures. It inspires me to live, really, find a purpose in live, take interest in politics, in art. IAMX helped me through some really dark time of my teenage life during which I so much wanted my brain to just shut up for once and not have to think anymore. Enlightenment to hell, thinking sucks!
So, I found IAMX and the music and somehow the philosophy (IAMX is for me not only about the music. It's bigger than that.) challenged me to take on this fucked up world differently.
Basically IAMX challenged me to think.
Thus, heavy influence on my life, but no IAMX dictated art. Some scribbles here and there, drawings of Chris for practice in my sketchbook, that's all.
Yet, last summer the IAMXart page on Facebook announced a fanart competition and since I somewhat fancy msyelf an artist and a fan, taking part seemed a sure thing.
The competition was at first somewhat Halloween related with 'I like pretending' as theme and the 31st October as deadline. So I really did not know what to do for a picture. Drawing Chris or Janine or whoever IAMX related in a costume seemed somewhat cheap to me.
'I like pretending' in a really personal context seemed to personal (No, really ...?) and not enough IAMX related and the song itself is not easy to illustrate because it's all about interpretation and I don't like to get things wrong. I don't like to be wrong.
Now the deadline changed and was based on the IAMX likes on Facebook.
IAMX drawing closer to the 100000 likes everyday and me having holidays pushed me to finally sketch a concept down. I based it on the song, trying to stay close to the lyrics.
Before I go into interpreting and explaing why I painted what and why (I don't do that often. I usually paint things because I like them or they look good.), I better show the picture.
Alright, explanation time ...
As nearly all songs from the Kiss&Swallow album I like pretending is one way or the other sex related.
There's this silver skinned person reminding the narrator why to stay alive, while he suffers of this ever constant death wish. In short.
'Silver skin' seems important, so I knew I had to draw naked skin in one way or the other. But taking the overall feel of the song, the album, album artwork in consideration it couldn't be some beautiful model or princess type girl. I wanted some wasted looking girl, more heroin-chick or broken Barbie doll. In some way still seductive, but just a broken as the narrator. More like finding some hidden beauty in this overall fucked up world with all the 'insanity, bleeding hearts and tragedies' in the smoke of her cigarette (which I fucked up more than a bit.), being present even in their bedroom, motel whatever.
Yeah ... and then there's the deathwish part. I tried to get a dark atmosphere, using the album artwork colours, but that didn't seem enough. Just as the 'I like pretending' bit. My goat, that's the competition theme! So I put this face hidden in the sheets. On second thoughts it's also similar to the album artwork. Not intended but alright.
Right. And there's the symbolic mask at her feet, which is really rather cheap. Um, yeah. Cheap is cheap is cheap. Just as the puppet strings are, although I like them far better.
I think it's prabably this finding something good somewhere in the mess and pretending to be free and everything being alright while everything that's dark and cruel is still there. Some kind of escape. Dunno.
I'm not really satisfied with the outcome of the picture. It could have been a lot better, I think. I mean, it's not bad, but something about the facial expressions is not the way I wanted them to be and as I sad, the mask is really cheap. And the cigarette; it's more like a sixth finger >.>
Well, nevermind.
Have a nice day and a quiet mind.
Don't fall into Winter depression or something. ;)
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